BattleCity The Real Ending
by silver-moon-sapphire-sky
Summary: Want to Know how the winged dragon of Ra was defeated? Why Yami was late to his final duel and Joey and Kaiba's match? And why Seto Kaiba lent him a card? Chapter Three up! FINALLY COMPLETE
1. Irritating Ishtars

**I do not own Yugioh- it belongs to Kazuki Takahashi.**

**Appologies for not putting something up on the web for so long, but at last I have done so again. Anyway, on with the fic.**

**You want to know how Battlecity ended? The real ending?**

**The English dub, even the original Japanese doesn't show how Battlecity really ended. Read below and find out what really happened!**

* * *

_**Chapter One: Irritating Ishtars**_

Yami had been very worried about Tèa, and after the Millennium puzzle's warning, he had raced off to find her. He had known she was in trouble. Big trouble (It's not like it took an hour to go to the bathroom, no matter how much grooming occurred in there). Therefore considering how reliable and punctual she was, even if she was a girl and prone to fits of vanity, something had to be wrong.

The puzzle had urged him to the top of the dueling tower Kaiba had built, and lost upon. Yami didn't normally have an urge to gloat, but where Kaiba was concerned… well the bastard irritated him.

As such he felt that a loud speech after victory designed to make Kaiba concede his life was pathetic, as well as a little bit of private gloating was not such a terrible thing.

He'd never admit to it out loud of course, it would ruin his reputation (well… Yugi's reputation) as a modest King of Games.

The worst part of this episode had been when he reached the top of the tower. Not only had Marik been on the verge of obliterating Ishizu and Tèa, but their duel had almost begun too. Yami was getting pretty sick of Marik; actually he was pretty sick of the Ishtars in general (even Odion, who was unconscious).

Speaking of Ishtars, he'd gone and promised Ishizu that he'd get Marik's normal self back. He'd only done it to get the woman to shut up so he could focus on making sure that Tèa was okay. After she'd gone that he realised that his word as pharaoh was technically binding, and that he was obliged to go through with it.

How the hell was he supposed to save Mai, Bakura and the good (err… normal??... Not completely evil??... well, the not completely insane) Marik?

Couldn't the three just be written off as acceptable casualties?

Baka conscience, baka hikari, baka honor of baka true duelist. And people thought playing games was relaxing…

Ishizu had left just as Tèa woke up, and now Yami offered her his hand to stand. He didn't really want to let go of her hand, but she pulled it out of his grasp, dusting herself off before he could object.

That of course raised the question of why he wanted to touch her.

Well, not 'touch her' as in a perverted way… but come to think of it, he wouldn't mind touching her in that way. -No, that wasn't the point. It was the contact he liked, it didn't have to be specifically sexual, he just liked contact between them.

He could feel Yugi's silent query about those feelings too.

Tèa looked at him, "shall we go down to see the end result of Joey's duel?" she asked.

Right Joey's duel… more like Joey getting his ass kicked by Kaiba. Nothing new. So why would she want to watch that? Or was Joey more interesting than him? She had been at most of Joey's qualifying matches, and not any of his.

She couldn't like Joey more than him though. He was far cooler, and a way more skilled duelist too! He wasn't jealous of Joey though, there was nothing to be jealous of… was there?

Yami nodded, "let's go," he agreed, walking over to the closest set of stairs. He could hear her shoes as she walked behind him. The fact that he was trying to hear her steps and use the sound to make sure she was right behind him bothered him.

He and Tèa were just friends, right?

They walked to the elevator in complete silence, and stepped inside.

Tèa gave Yami a smile, "Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome," he replied. This was so awkward.

Yami found himself watching her as the elevator continued its descent. She was really hot, she had a great figure, a pretty face and she was a really nice person. What more could you want in a girl?

But why was he suddenly thinking like this anyway? She was Yugi's friend and his friend as well.

He couldn't just slam her against the elevator well and have his way with her, could he?

The fact he even wanted to do so was a worry. When had their relationship gotten this complicated?

He desperately looked around the elevator. Was it just him or was this trip down taking a really long time?

Why couldn't Kaiba have put in a window? Or something to look at on the way down, like a painting or something? Anything? Just so he wouldn't be staring at the floor really obviously.

"Yami, are you okay?" asked Tèa with a gentle smile.

Shit, why the hell did she have to be perceptive? Or was it that he was being so obvious in his discomfort.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said turning away, so she couldn't see how red he'd gone. It's not like he could say 'I want to score with you,' or anything.

"Okay then," she said, and he noticed she was faintly red too. Maybe it was the lift giving everyone strange perverted ideas. That's it, blame the lift! Kaiba's cursed lift; that meant that it was all Kaiba's fault!

"Tèa, I-" maybe honesty was the best policy.

/Yami, don't tell her about wanting to fuck her senseless, girls don't like crude talk. Tell her you like her/

Yugi's advice sounded better- honesty always leaves a lot to be desired.

"I really like you," Yami finished lamely.

"As in more than a friend?" questioned Tèa, she sounded surprised.

Yami wondered if fuck buddies were counted as more than friends.

/Say Yes!/

"Uh, yeah sure," he followed the silent prompting.

Tèa looked really surprised, "wow, I had no idea. At least I know that I can trust you to be honest because we're friends. Not like any of those other pigs who tell would tell me that they liked me just to get me into bed,"

WHAT? There were other men who'd tried to get her into bed? Who were they and where did they live? He'd send them all to the shadow realm for even trying to touch her.

She looked at him expectantly- oh right he was supposed to answer.

"Yeah, of course I'm not like any of those bastards," Yami said nervously, he was almost sure he was sweating really hard right now. Come to think of it, he'd already saved her from a pervert, kind of ironic that he wanted to steal the virtue he'd spent so much effort (like two minutes) protecting.

But wasn't that fair? Didn't he deserve a reward for that hard work?

Tèa gave him a smile that sent butterflies down his spine, she really was very pretty. Perhaps his relationship with her would not only be based on sex (that would be a touchstone though). He was a man; sex was definitely an essential in any non-family relationship.

"I like you too," she whispered, moving forward, hugging him gently. He found himself leaning into her. She was such a comforting warm burden. He couldn't remember the last time he'd held someone like this. It was different to Yugi, he was attracted to her, and as such he noticed ever minute contact between them. From his arms around her and her arms around his neck, to the feel of his face beside hers, and the way their chests were pressed against each other... well rather, the way her breasts were pressed against his chest.

Yami leaned back slightly from the hug, their faces were level and then he moved forward ever so slowly, until he finally pressed his lips on hers. Kissing her deeply. He pushed her against the side of the elevator, wrapping his arms around her waist. She really didn't seem to mind, she was kissing him back after all.

It wasn't until he realised that his tongue was in her mouth and his hands were on her ass that he realised he might have gone too far.

In the name of Ra, he'd just said he was different to the other perverts and then he just…

He parted from her in a hurry, "Tèa I'm sorry I just,"

"It's okay Yami," she said with a laugh, "I wasn't expecting you to be a saint. Heavens know Yugi isn't, you should see the videos he borrows from Joey,"

Yami could feel the embarrassment emanating from Yugi's soul room.

//You'll have to lend me one of those//

/It looks like your going to get enough hands on practice not to need one/

Yami was almost blushing.

He was surprised though when Tèa gave him a very intense look, "you're not going to stop there are you?" she asked.

He looked at her in astonishment. She gave a sigh, and a look that said 'women have to do everything themselves' and shoved him against the wall before feverishly kissing him. He was quite happy with the sudden move though. He eagerly responded.

Actually come to think of it, honesty might have won her over anyway considering the situation, but Yami thought it just as well he'd told her sweet nothings. If she wanted to back out later, love and trust were an excellent excuse to take things all the way to home base.

/Like I said, lots of hands on experience/

Yami severed the link between him and Yugi. There were just some things that weren't meant to be shared between him and Yugi. Scoring with a hot girl was one of them, especially if she was a friend.

* * *

Joey and Kaiba's duel had come to an end. Kaiba had won, Joey was no where near his league, and the result had been inevitable. The minute Kaiba's signature Blue Eyes White Dragon had appeared Joey had been doomed.

Of course Joey just had to have the last word, and so Kaiba was properly pissed off with the brainless mutt. He'd made it quite clear that he was Kaiba's superior in terms of friends and girls, and senseless luck. Needless to say Kaiba hated mysticism and luck- they couldn't be calculated in dueling simulations, so it was no surprise he was pissed off. He apparently hadn't been able to argue about the girls and friends comments either.

Mokuba had of course followed his bad tempered big brother, while Duke and Tristan were helping Joey find Yugi. Joey was annoyed that they'd both not been around to watch his duel. Even if he'd lost. It was the principle of the matter. They should have watched his… err, glorious dueling defeat.

If only he knew that at this moment his friends had absolutely no thoughts for him or about him at all.

In fifteen minutes the security guard who monitored Kaiba's elevator surveillance received more shocks than in the entire span of his eighty three years of life.

When Isono went to check on the unfortunate man he found him passed out with a nosebleed. He didn't bother checking the monitors, instead he called a doctor. Then he worried about the upcoming finals.

* * *

Seto Kaiba was still pissed off, how dare that stupid, incompetent mutt say that he was superior to Seto in terms of getting girls! Admittedly Joey probably did beat him in the categories of friends and luck, but who needed those things! It was the girls comment that had really pushed him over the edge.

He stalked off towards his battleship, that stupid mutt. There was no way that girls could possibly prefer a goof with an American accent to the CEO of a prestigious company. The only girls that did had to have questionable taste. He still felt rage enveloping him.

Mokuba walked nervously behind his older brother. He wondered why Joey's comments had stirred up such a rage in Seto.

They almost walked right past Ishizu, except the wind blew her skirt away at the right time giving Seto a very good view of her long tanned legs. He stopped dead in his tracks.

"So Seto, have you no care for the fate of the world?" Ishizu asked.

Seto noticed the size of her bust and guessed from the angle of her breasts that she was not using a push up bra. What was she a D? Or double D?

"Seto? Hello? I was just talking about mystical shit, that's your cue to tell me you don't believe in magic and refuse to help the pharaoh save the world," Ishizu added.

Seto blinked "hmm?" he gave his little brother a questioning gaze.

Mokuba watched the scene puzzled, "I think Ishizu just talked about paranormal phenomena to you," he said helpfully.

Aha! Well like any good Kaiba-boy should Seto had a very good come back for Ishizu, "Please Ishizu, you don't honestly expect me to believe," he hadn't noticed during their duel how much her breasts moved when she breathed…

"Seto, my face is up here!" Ishizu yelled.

Seto went bright red; his reputation was shot if anyone found out about this. He did manage to pull his eyes away from her chest though.

"Anyway as I was saying, you don't honestly expect me to believe that the world is in danger because of your fairy stories," Seto had managed to recover some of the legendary Kaiba cool.

"Yes I do,"

"No you don't,"

"Yes I do,"

"Yes you don't,"- Ishizu decided to try to be tricky.

"No I do!"- Kaiba was getting a little confused.

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't"- Shit Kaiba winced, she'd manipulated him, so he covered by quickly shouting, "YES I DO!"

"NO YOU DON'T"

"DO!"

"DON'T!"

"DO!"

"DON-" Seto shut up when he noticed Mokuba walking off. "Mokuba, I am your older brother you're not allowed to walk off without me!" he announced.

"But it seemed like your fight was going to go on for ages with Ishizu," Mokuba whined.

"So what!" Seto shrieked. What happened to family loyalty? Oh right Ishizu and her insane brother. It just figured that him calling her brother insane would get bad karma back on him and his family.

"So I figured I could play on my playstation," Mokuba commented.

"Aren't you going to help me persuade your brother to help Yugi and the others?" Ishizu asked sounding surprised.

"No offence Ishizu, but I don't see what's in it for me," Mokuba crossed his arms; he looked scarily like his brother. Seto was proud, Ishizu was plain creeped out.

"Saving your world?" Ishizu offered.

"We destroy it every day ourselves, so you're going to have to do better than that," Mokuba commented cynically. Some things run in the family.

"How about if I give you a whole crate of mars bars?" Ishizu offered. Didn't food always work as bribery for males?

"Throw in a crate of cherry ripe and you've got a deal," Mokuba countered.

Ishizu was unable to speak for two minutes amazed at her good fortune, "sure,"

Mokuba smiled and then turned to his big brother "okay Seto, now you've got to go help Yugi," he said.

"Excuse me, what do you mean?" asked Seto.

"Either you help Yugi, or else I'll become Joey's best friend," Mokuba gave the ultimatum without the slightest hint of doubt at the outcome.

Ishizu wasn't surprised when Seto said "very well then," and hurriedly walked off towards the duel tower.

As Ishizu walked beside him he heard her whisper, "good choice Kaiba, and believe me, I'll totally make it worth your while should we prevent world destruction and save my brother,"

Kaiba gave her quite a look; "really?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"Oh yes," said Ishizu with a very promising smile walking past him.

If all went well Seto Kaiba could prove the mutt wrong about his luck with women. Then again Ishizu wasn't a typical woman, undeniably attractive, but still, rather unusual.

Either way as long as he got some ass he didn't really care, especially he mused, eyes moving down the back of her head until he reached her ass, a very sweet ass.

"Kaiba, watch where you're going, not my butt," said Ishizu.

Kaiba came to himself just before he would have walked into a pile of rubble. He found himself hoping that this would be a short duel. He watched Ishizu's ass covetously, trying to imagine her dimensions minus the clothes (an easy feat for such a mathematical brain). Yes he hoped that it would be a very short duel.

* * *

Tèa was helping Yami with all the buckles on his outfit. Or rather, she was helping him cover the hickies on his neck with his choker. She had her collar buttoned up fully to hide hers, but both efforts were only partially successful.

The lift had actually reached the ground floor ages ago, but somehow or other the stop button had been pressed and the couple had apparently not noticed and as such had continued… 'hugging' in the elevator for more than an hour. It was a good thing no one on board Kaiba's battleship had been concerned with monitoring the goings on in the elevator once the first man had fallen.

They finally stepped out of the elevator and looked around for anyone who might have noticed the peculiar noises coming from the elevator. Specifically their friends, or worse; Kaiba. If he ever found out what they'd done in his elevator he'd probably kill them.

They had barely stepped out of the elevator when Joey suddenly appeared, "So, what's the big idea? Leaving in the middle of my duel?"

"Sorry Joey," said Tèa.

"It's not what you think," added Yami.

Joey tried to work that last comment out, "well, my first thought would have been that you had your way with Tèa," he said.

Joey, Duke and Tristan burst out laughing; everyone knew Yugi and Tèa were good friends. Yugi wasn't a pervert (like Joey).

It was then they noticed that the other two weren't laughing. In fact they looked kind of embarrassed, and perhaps those strange red marks on their necks were technically called 'hickies'.

"No way, you didn't!" said Joey.

Both had turned faintly red.

"I can't believe it, Yugi scored!" Joey was very proud of his little protégé. If only he knew that it was Yami (who'd never had the benefit of borrowing Joey's 'videos'), then he'd be really shocked.

"So, anyway, it's my turn to duel now," said Yami walking very quickly back to the duel tower.

"Anyway Joey, how badly did Kaiba trounce you," said Tèa doing a much better job of changing the subject.

"Trounce me? he did not trounce me, I'll have you know it was a very close finish!" Joey yelled.

"So he did beat you, I knew it," Tèa said with a smirk.

"How dare you say that, you weren't even there!" yelled Joey.

"You didn't really miss much though," commented Tristan with a broad smile.

"Joey actually did a pretty good job," said Duke, making Joey smile with pride, "Kaiba just did a much better job," he added. Joey's expression turned into a hangdog expression. He was clearly still rather upset over the loss.

Yami looked up at the duel tower. He wondered whether or not he and Tèa could find any way to ditch the other three and then perhaps go on to 'stall' another elevator for a while.

"Worried about your upcoming duel?" asked Joey.

Yami was startled and turned so that they wouldn't see his blush. He hadn't been thinking about the duel in anyway.

"Yes, Marik and I must battle to decide the fate of the world," it was corny, but it was the best he could come up with.

It fooled everyone except Yugi and Tèa, Yugi because he shared part of his soul with Yami and Tèa because she saw and recognised the blush on his face.

"Yeah, let's get going!" Tèa agreed, wondering herself if the final duel could not be delayed just a little longer.

* * *

Malik was waiting with Joey, Duke, Tristan, Kaiba, Isono and Mokuba, the duel king had somehow gotten a little lost on his way up, as had Tèa. Apparently this had happened right after they got separated from Joey, Duke and Tristan.

Kaiba had vaguely noticed an elevator which had been stopped on the top floor, but hadn't given it any real thought. In fact it had given him ideas about whisking Ishizu away into an elevator himself.

"If Yugi Mutou doesn't show up within the next five minutes, then he'll be disqualified," Isono said looking at his watch.

Four minutes and fifty three seconds later a rather disheveled King of Games and Tèa appeared. Joey, Duke and Tristan noticed that there were quite a few more of those tell tale red marks. There was little need to wonder what they'd been up to and Kaiba was almost sure that they were the reason his elevator had stopped.

Bloody hell, what gave Yugi and Tèa the right to do what he hadn't in his own elevator? It was really tempting to tell Isono to disqualify Yugi.

That last idea made him pause, thinking. He wouldn't get Ishizu into bed if he did that, and come to think of it, since when had Yugi been bold enough to make out so obviously? He hadn't thought that the shorter boy would be so bold.

Perhaps there was some truth in what Yugi had said in the helicopter. Perhaps it was the ancient spirit who'd been making out with Tèa.

NO, this was not happening. He was Seto Kaiba and he did not believe in fairytales, and certainly not ones with magic involved. So with his biggest scowl the CEO of Kaiba Corp. walked towards Yugi.

He stopped in front of the shorter boy, what the hell was he supposed to say? "Here," he tossed the card to Yugi, not caring if it cut off his fingers.

"What's this?" asked the hickey covered King of Games.

"Prove that you deserve the title King of Games," Seto commented smugly.

"But I've never seen this card before!" protested Yami glancing down at it. He read the description of its uses. Kaiba wouldn't give him a bad card, right? He could trust Kaiba, couldn't he?

He had just humiliated Kaiba in front of the entire dueling world though, and Kaiba wasn't known to be forgiving. He was also very proud, and smart. Surely this card would be helpful.

"Trust me or don't trust me, it's up to you," Kaiba said.

Why was Yami suddenly so tempted to throw away the card?

Instead he did something he knew he'd regret, "I trust you," -though thousands wouldn't. He placed the card in his deck and shuffled it before sliding it into his duel disk.

"Yugi, are you crazy?" Joey called out.

Tristan, Tèa and Duke looked worried, while Marik, Mokuba and Ishizu were all openly smug, but for different reasons.

Yami found himself facing Marik on the top of the dueling tower, and suddenly he realised something. Being the hero of a story wasn't all it was cracked up to be. How was he supposed to fix this mess?

* * *

**Please R & R, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I promise that I'll update soon.**

**Sorry for the confusion I might have generated by not doing the spacing properly the first time. I reposted it, with the paragraphing done better. **


	2. Completely Impossible

**Hey there, I finally decided to update this story, sorry it took so long.**

**Well anyway, thanks to all the people who reviewed, I really needed the encouragement.**

**

* * *

Chapter Two: Completely Impossible**

* * *

Isono looked at Seto Kaiba, and after receiving a nod "The final duel of BattleCity, to decide the champion will commence, NOW!"

"I'm going first," said Yami.

"No, I'm going first!" argued Marik.

"No me!" said Yami.

"No me!" Marik insisted.

The situation abruptly turned into a childish and pointless repetition of "no me" back and forth.

Isono looked at Seto Kaiba for assistance, but Kaiba was busy staring at Ishizu's… 'chest'. He promptly turned to Mokuba who held up a coin.

Thank goodness for children who still believed in cooties and were not solely driven by hormones.

"Heads or tails?" Isono asked managing to break up the "no me"s.

"Tails," both boys said at the same time, and then they quickly glared at each other.

Mokuba flipped the coin and covered it with his hand, tired of their childish behavior, "which one of you is which?" he demanded.

"I'm tails," Yami shot in before Marik could.

Marik sulkily gave in, "fine I'm heads,"

Mokuba lifted his hands "heads," he proclaimed.

"But that's impossible! I'm the King of Games, how could I lose a contest like that!" Yami protested, and then pointed at Marik "he must have cheated!" proclaimed the pouting King of Games.

"But how?" asked Mokuba, "you wanted tails, and he hasn't come anywhere near me anyway," he pointed out.

Yami froze for a moment, he felt a little silly. Everyone else was smirking at his childlike ways, even Tèa, and that smarted.

Marik however sighed in relief.

To think the baka pharaoh was smart enough to catch onto him, now that was scary. He decided he'd better hurry his turn on before they realised he'd used his powers to cheat.

"Anyway, my turn!" he said, earning a death glare from the pharaoh, "but first I'm going to introduce the Dark Game!!"

"Dark Game?" asked Duke.

"Is it just me or has this thing come up before?" asked Tristan, surprising everyone with his intelligence.

"I agree, it's completely unoriginal, he's used this before," Joey said.

Everyone else looked like they agreed with Joey, even Ishizu and Yami- who actually understood what the Dark Game was. It had been used too many times before; and everyone just wanted the answer to this one small question.

**Why couldn't the bad guys come up with a new idea?**

"Ra damn all you fools! The dark game takes on a new form each time it is played! IT IS NOT IN ANY WAY UNORIGINAL!!!" yelled Marik.

"So how come it still has the same name?" asked Tèa curiously.

Marik took a deep breath; he was going to answer her. He even spread his hands away from his body, in full dramatic pose. He paused.

Everyone waited expectantly, and Marik was still pausing.

And the pause continued…

Ten minutes later, they were still waiting and Marik was still pausing. Finally however he opened his mouth.

"I'm not sure," Marik admitted quietly.

Everyone fell over backwards, but two seconds later Mokuba was on his feet "how can you not know the answer!"

"WHY SHOULD I KNOW? -I DIDN'T INVENT THE DARK GAME YOU FOOLS!!" yelled Marik.

"Then why did you spend ten minutes deciding on whether or not you did know?" asked Joey.

Marik paused briefly "well, I was trying to make a dramatic pause, but then I forgot why I was making the pause, and what I was going to say, and then-"

Yami cut in "okay, I think we get the point," he said quickly.

The last thing they needed was a bad guy sob story at this point. Everyone already knew about Marik Ishtar's tragic past.

In fact they'd heard so much about his sufferings that the next time he opened his mouth to talk about it, they were going to throw him off the tower.

Martyrdom has always been a popular way to gain everlasting fame and glory, but only for the dead, unfortunately. But there were plus sides, no one would ever have to hear Marik's complaints about the scars on his back again.

Yami had always felt that living in the past was overrated.

If he had spent all his time worrying about his memories, the fate of the world and saving every bad guy he came across then he'd never have got some ass. It seemed like every hero forgot about the important things in life- what was the point in saving the world if you missed your chance to 'explore all of the positive features of the opposite sex'?

Heroism left a lot to be desired in the ancient pharaoh's opinion. He wasn't the only male who felt that way either.

Isono spoke up quickly "now if we can get on with the duel," he looked at Seto Kaiba for backup, but Seto was still ogling Ishizu's body. Mokuba once again came to the rescue, giving him a big nod.

Marik took over again "okay, now this Dark Game is a little different," he began.

"I thought you said that they were all different," commented Joey.

Marik resisted the urge to rip out all of a certain blonde's hair. He really wanted to know what the pharaoh and Yugi saw in that mutt, aside from the obvious amazing mental stamina.

Marik was still pissed that Joey had survived Ra's attack and almost beaten him. It was fucking embarrassing actually. He, the 'main evil character' (in this segment anyway) had almost been beaten by one of the 'main good character's sidekicks'.

"It was a figure of speech," Marik complained, and before he could get interrupted again, "any way in this Dark Game our other selves will pay the ultimate price," he said, and began his maniacal evil laughter.

Everyone looked at him, "what?"

"It's easier to explain, by showing you," said Marik sending forth his hand. A great wave of darkness followed this dramatic gesture.

"Hey, is it just me, or did the sun go out?" asked Joey.

"Pst, Joey," said Duke, "I think that this is part of the Dark Game,"

"Really?" asked Tristan.

"Well how else did you think it got this name?" asked Duke.

"Good point," murmured Tristan and Joey nodding seriously.

Everyone else sweatdropped, even the evil Marik. He really couldn't believe that this pathetic excuse for a human had almost beaten him. It was impossible, yet strangely undeniable.

"Anyway, as I was saying," said Marik, glaring daggers at Joey and Tristan, "the simplest way is to show you," he gesture again.

Yami felt a weird detachment, and suddenly Yugi was floating beside him, chained up, when by all laws of magic he should have been in his soul room inside the puzzle. This was not good.

"Marik, what have you done?" yelled Yami.

"Like I said, in this game the cost of lifepoints will be taken by our otherselves," Marik said and then began his evil laughter. The pale figure of the sane… more normal Marik was apparent, chained up, and obviously unconscious, beside his more insane half.

"What are they talking about?" asked Tèa.

"What the hell?" yelled Marik "are you blind!" he complained pointing at his other half and Yugi, "can't you see them?" he demanded.

"No," said Tèa and Duke.

"Nope," Tristan and Joey said.

"See what?" asked Mokuba.

Ishizu and Kaiba both shook their heads, while Isono prayed for this duel to start and end, very quickly. He was losing both his sanity and his patience. He wasn't paid anywhere near well enough for this kind of torture.

Yami conspiratorially stage whispered to the bewildered evil being, "you do realise that no one except the people playing the Dark Game can see the effects of it's illusions, don't you?"

Marik paused for a second, colouring, he had gone bright red. Everyone else, except Ishizu, stared at the bright red boy for a second, before deciding that both Yami and Marik were a little unbalanced- perhaps it was too much dueling. Seeing things that no one else could was a common sign of madness, or at least mental unbalance.

Kaiba personally hoped someone would have the mercy to kill him before he became that mentally unsound from dueling.

Thus the duel proceeded...

Yami nearly always seemed to be at a disadvantage in the match, it seemed like Marik was always that one step ahead- no matter what he did. Ra was a continuous threat, always just about to emerge from the graveyard. It was a bloody nuisance Yami reflected.

Yami also found himself dwelling on the mess that this Dark Game was making of the duel. He had to protect Yugi, it had become his job- the younger boy depended upon him, and while it might be nice to have his own body, not to just be allowed out when there was a tough duel…

Yes, it would be very nice to have his own body, but he wouldn't betray Yugi for the sake of doing that...

No matter what the advantages, he was a true duelist after all... right?...

Besides, letting Yugi be destroyed by the darkness would mean that he would no longer be the King of Games.

He'd no longer have fan club girls, and would possibly lose Tèa. She was quite fond of Yugi, and would probably not forgive him if he lost Yugi's soul.

All in all, it wasn't worth deliberately throwing the duel to Marik in order to get his own body.

Of course if he won though, he'd have to destroy Marik, and baka honor of a baka true duelist meant that this was the one thing he could not actually do.

Stupid Ishizu, how was he supposed to save the world if he wasn't allowed to destroy her brother's soul?

Who'd miss Marik anyway?

And what could be scarier than evil Marik's insane laugh or muscle shifting face?

The poor pharaoh had no way of knowing, that more terrifying issues were yet to come.

* * *

Yami was in trouble and everyone knew it. He conceded that this was a very difficult situation, probably the most difficult he'd faced in the duel so far.

There was only one card which could save him now, and if he didn't draw it. Well, Marik would be very happy, but no one else (with the possible exception of Ishizu, since her brother would survive) would be.

He concentrated on Kaiba and his belief in the heart of the cards. He needed that card- even though he was still not entirely sure exactly how the stupid thing was supposed to protect him from Ra.

He drew his card sweating; he had a feeling that this was the right card. That feeling was confirmed when he felt the sting of the paper cut that the card had just given him. It had to be Kaiba's card. He jammed the card in the magic card slot, fumbling a little since his eyes were closed.

"Yugi Mutou, that is an illegal move," protested Isono, "you cannot know if that is a monster or a magic card," he said.

Seto watched the palm-tree headed boy's confidence shine in his eyes and mused on it. Even if it was an illegal move, Yugi showed no doubts, and besides the sooner that this duel ended, the sooner he would be able to get Ishizu alone.

"Yugi, how can you possibly know what card you got?" Joey yelled.

"It gave me a paper cut, therefore it must be Kaiba's card," Yami retorted.

No one wanted to point out the major flaw in that logic. They just hoped Yugi's belief in the heart of the cards was strong enough to create a miracle.

"Isono, I'll allow this," Seto intervened. He was kind of smug, his card had given Yugi a paper cut, it was a petty thing to be proud of, but sometimes the CEO indulged himself in that way.

The duel continued, and not surprisingly Yami's belief in the Kaiba's card was justified. He managed to summon Obelisk, his second God card. Osiris, his first god card, was already in the graveyard. Kaiba felt even more smug that he'd indirectly put a spoke in Marik's wheel.

Yami breathed a sigh of relief, after this, nothing in the duel could scare him, he was sure.

If only he knew that fate always has something more in store for you.

* * *

Yami was officially very scared; he'd just lived through his worst nightmare. Actually, it was the nightmare of most straight men.

It turned out that his Tèa had a mental link with Marik's normal side, and while he didn't particularly like that, it didn't worry him.

He was obviously far more worried about who had been in control during the elevator situation.

It was fucking scary; he'd quite possibly made out with a boy- well… more than just made out...

The best case scenario was also scary; Marik could have been watching.

The ancient pharaoh's spirit had not been raised in a free thinking society; the gay and lesbian thing unnerved him a little...

Well, not the lesbian thing- he was actually quite taken by the idea of two or more women together, but the gay thing was not something he was really interested in.

He really wasn't interested in men full stop, and even if it had been a female body, he really didn't want to know that it had been a male controlling that body.

Both Tèa and Marik had assured him that it had been Tèa, but that hadn't stopped Duke, Tristan and Joey from teasing him.

Marik had also given him some tips for next time.

What could be worse torture than that?

Yugi beside him moaned, the smaller boy had lost several parts of his body. Yami briefly conceded that the pain from that was probably bad torture.

But he maintained that his mental torture was far worse.

* * *

Finally though, after all the twists and turns in the duel Yami had no other option other than to summon the monster who'd never let him down.

Dark Magician magically appeared, crossing his arms, looking as confident as usual. Dark Magician Girl in her short outfit was already on the field and floated just in front of him, looking very pouty.

Yami and Yugi were the only ones who saw what happened next clearly. One minute Dark Magician's arms were crossed, the next they were uncrossed, and one hand was quite casually disappearing up Dark Magician Girl's skirt.

Dark Magician Girl's face went a dark red, and for several seconds Dark Magician was very pleased that his girl did not wear underwear. He was not so pleased by her reminder that his hand had no place being under her skirt.

Everyone was astonished when Dark Magician Girl quite suddenly turned red and then bashed Dark Magicianrather solidly with her staff. No one except Yami and Yugi had seen Dark Magician's wandering hands. They were both quite ashamed and surprised that one of their favorite monsters was in truth a hentai.

Dark Magician slumped dizzily from Dark Magician Girl's blow; she was clearly not a force to be taken lightly- despite her lack of underwear. She then floated over to the other side of the field, leaving her master with swirly eyes and Yami and Yugi staring in complete astonishment.

Dark Magician Girl then proceeded to flirt with the Winged Dragon of Ra- which was still fused with Marik. It was kind of odd to watch.

Dark Magician- who had recovered from her blow almost immediately, was dark red, and covered in flames. While the Winged Dragon of Ra and Marik were both currently being stroked, and obviously enjoying it. The dragon had a pale pink flush on it's face, as did evil Marik, while Dark Magician Girl ran her hand down the dragon's neck continuously.

Dark Magician had very bad self control, and Dark Magician Girl had pushed him to his limits- twice now. Yami didn't need to play any other cards to beat Ra; Dark Magician had all the power he needed.

The whole company was astonished when Dark Magician suddenly drew back his staff and threw a fiery magical blast at Ra

"Ha, what good is that going to do!" Marik yelled, laughing.

Yami however had paled, "oh no," he said, "it's the Supreme Dark Magic attack,"

"What?" Marik asked.

The attack hit Ra, also threw Dark Magician Girl off the dragon's neck, and Marik sudddely defused and appeared back opposite Yami on the field. Ra disintegrated into a pile of ash much to everyone's surprise.

"RA!" yelled Marik, he then looked at Yami "explain what this trickery is," he demanded.

Yami obliged, "Supreme Dark Magic attack is the true power of a Dark Magician. His power becomes increased so many times that it becomes infinite. Not only does it destroy any monster it touches, but it prevents them from being summoned onto the field again as long as the Dark Magician is present," he said.

"But why did Dark Magician tap into this true power only now?" asked Joey.

"He was jealous of Ra," said Yami, still rather astonished by the events which had occurred.

Everyone sweatdropped. They looked at the Dark Magician, who, (now that his rival was dust) was his normal cool looking self. Dark Magician Girl was looking at him, and much to everyone- except the women's astonishment, she threw herself into his arms, kissing him.

The men all went goggle eyed, the women were smirking- they knew who'd been in control the whole time, and Mokuba sensibly covered his eyes- grossed out by the display.

Yami quickly worked out that he wasn't going to get any more help from them and sent them back to their world. No one really wanted to know exactly what they got up to in their own time. Heart of the Cards and monster bonding was one thing; watching your monsters making out was another.

"Ha, it's my turn and if I draw a monster I'll win," said Marik. He only had one life point left, but Yami only had seven hundred. The duel was in its critical last stages.

"No you won't," everyone looked at the new arrival. It was Odion.

"Yes I will," Marik argued back.

"I'll tickle you if you don't switch with master Marik right now," Odion threatened.

Marik paled, "you wouldn't dare,"

"Really?" Odion had a very sharp look in his eyes. Apparently he didn't like the fact that the evil Marik had tried to kill him.

Everyone was surprised when the normal Marik appeared- and Yugi and Yami could even see the evil Marik hanging in the air beside his other self, looking at Odion warily.

The normal Marik laughed, "at last, I can gain world domination!" he cried.

"Marik," Ishizu cried out, shocked, "haven't you learned your lesson?"

"Nope," said Marik still laughing without a care.

"I'll tickle you," Odion threatened.

"Okay. Fine," Marik scowled, "I surrender," he said scowling.

Yami and Yugi saw evil Marik completely disappear. The Dark Game disappeared, and Yugi was released from his confines, disappearing into his body.

Yami felt very smug; he'd saved the world, kept his promise to Ishizu and basically kicked ass!- he'd also got ass... No doubt about it, he rocked!!

* * *

With Ishizu standing over him holding a very dangerous looking suede handbag (later they learned it was full of bricks) Marik reluctantly handed over the Millennium Rod, Millennium Ring and third God card to the pharaoh. He even more reluctantly took off his shirt to show the pharaoh the scars on his back. Yami got his answers about how to find his memories, but a new threat arose as well.

It was obvious that Tèa quite liked Marik without his shirt on, Yami made a note never to let those two go off alone together. Perhaps the mental bond had created an issue for him to worry about.

It was right at that moment that Kaiba made his grand announcement.

"In an hour's time the duel tower will be destroyed. Get on the battleship and off the island!"

Talk about having problems with losing; he was destroying the entire island, just because he'd lost.

Tèa, Tristan, Yami, Duke and Joey were all walking back to the battleship to see if Mai and Ryou had recovered. Marik and Odion were walking with them, along with Kaiba's suit. Kaiba, Mokuba and Ishizu were missing.

The Kaiba brothers had disappeared, and Ishizu had followed them, mentioning something about an elevator. The gang hadn't known that Kaiba could blush until that moment, but the back of his neck was distinctly crimson. No one really understood why though, they'd just walked on telling the trio to join them before an hour was up.

Now they were standing outside Mai's room. It seemed that Joey wasn't quite ready to go in though.

Joey reached for the door handle, "Kami, I can't do it," he moaned taking his hand away, "what if she isn't awake?"

"But you're never going to know if you don't open the door," pointed out Duke.

Duke, Tristan, Yami and Tèa were the only people with Joey at this point. Marik and Odion had gotten bored with the situation almost immediately and walked off to Marik's room to wait for Ishizu.

"But if she is awake and she knows that I didn't beat Marik- or rather I almost did but I collapsed before I could play the card," Joey was raving and after a brief pause he continued "what kind of idiot collapses during a card game just before he was going to win?"

"You," said Tristan.

There was of course the usual fist fight, until Tèa broke them up, by whacking them both on the head.

She then proceeded to yell at Joey, "you're being ridiculous!"

"But what if she isn't awake? Then what do I do?" Joey was crouched on the floor miserably with big teary eyes.

Each person looked at the other, until finally the female once again had to solve the problem. Tèa firmly grabbed Joey by the ear, opened the door to Mai's room and yanked Joey into the room.

"Look there she is Joey!" she shouted and practically threw him onto Mai's bed.

"Hey, Serenity, is she awake?" Tristan asked for Joey, seeing as he was recovering from being thrown on top of an attractive woman.

Serenity shook her head.

"Kami," said Tèa begining to cry.

Yami didn't only wrap his arms around her to cop a feel, he was just as upset as her.

Joey didn't see the head shake, but he guessed the answer, "NOOO!!" he shouted. He turned towards the gang, still sitting on the edge of Mai's bed, and they were surprised to see all the tears flowing down his face.

"Joey, I'm sorry," Duke said, "but you trie-" he trailed off, Tèa stopped crying and Serenity stopped hiding her face in her hands. Mai had just opened her eyes and given everyone a wink. Joey was of course the only one who hadn't seen her do it.

"I don't want you to die!" yelled Joey suddenly turning around, taking the woman into his arms and squeezing her tightly.

For several seconds Mai was stunned, then she blushed and then of course she began to turn blue from lack of air.

"Uhh... Joey you have to let go," Serenity warned her big brother.

"NO MAI, I won't let go of you, you can't die yet!" yelled Joey, not actually looking at the blond woman and squeezing even harder, she was going steadily bluer.

"Joey, trust me you really need to let go," Tèa, who was still in the pharaoh's arms tried to warn him as well.

Joey shrieked, "NO, WHY? She was only…" he trail off uncertainly, "uhh- less than thirty years old! Too young to die!"

Joey began shaking the blonde's body and crying. Mai had finally wrenched an arm free from the blonde's and smacked him on the head. Joey went crashing into the floor and Mai managed to get her breathe back.

"My god I almost died," Mai moaned, still breathing hard, then she saw her would-be-assassin twitch, "WHAT ON EARTH DID YOU THINK YOU DOING?" she shrieked at him.

Joey jumped off the ground, he screamed, "but you were dead, and now you're talking so that means… YOU'RE A GHOST!!" and then promptly fainted immediately after his big announcement.

Everyone looked at him in shocked silence. Sometimes Joey could be a real baka.

Fifteen minutes later (when Mai had finished explaining that she was not in fact really dead. It had just been a prank, and that she was in fact more annoyed that he'd tried to kill her than the fact that he'd felt her up and put his head practically down her top in his grief) Joey was joyfully staring at the blonde woman.

"What did you mean by the 'younger than thirty' comment?" Mai suddenly asked.

Joey looked around for help, and fortunately his little sister felt guilty for playing the prank on him before, because she came up with a great come back for him, which she mouthed.

"Well, in my opinion you could easily be sixteen, but considering what great care you take of yourself, and the fact your not in school, I thought that you could be in your very early twenties," he laid heavy emphasis on the very early.

Ten minutes later he was still surprised by how well Serenity's advice had worked. Mai had been very happy with his words and proceeded to assure Joey that she was definitely one hundred percent healthy.

The blonde woman's mouth seemed to be glued to his. He didn't mind at all though, it meant his hands were free to wander.

* * *

The gang really had no objections to Joey and Mai being a couple. They just wished that the pair had asked everyone to leave the room before they started. Although the moans coming from the room really didn't leave much to the imagination.

The rest of the gang were standing outside, and were torn between embarrassment (in Serenity's case), jealousy (in Duke and Tristan's case) and a desire go and do the same thing themselves (in Tèa and Atemu's case).

Instead they went off to find Bakura. They were surprised and quite horrified (in Tristan's case) to catch him in the middle of raiding the kitchen. He appeared to be quite himself, very cheerful, and very hungry.

There was obviously not going to be much left in the kitchen once he was finished- which was the source of Tristan's horror.

All in all everything seemed to be going well. But how long could peace last on the Yu-Gi-Oh set?

**

* * *

Thanks for reading, apologies again for not being prompt in updating.**

**By the way, I forgot to mention before- Isono is the Japanese character, I got a little confused when I wrote this. His English counterpart is Roland. Sorry if I confused people.**

**Also, I forgot to translate the Japanese, _baka_ means idiot, and _hentai_ means pervert.**

**Sorry about that.**

**Please press the purple button and review! I promise you'll have good luck... **

**trust me (sweatdrops)**


	3. Final Disasters

**Hiya Peoples!!! **

**It's me again, I'm finally publishing the last chapter of this story, sorry it took so long for me to put up. Got kinda lazy and distracted…**

**Anyway, to whoever is interested in this story I hope that you enjoy the final installment. By the way, just for the curious this was mostly inspired by the corny English Dub and an interest in the effects of melodrama- plus a lot of cheesy movie dialogue… you gotta love it.**

**Oh, I not only don't I own Yu-Gi-Oh manga or anime- in English or Japanense I don't own any dialogue from Lord of the Rings either- I just couldn't resist that one line from Galadriel's intro, **_**'when all hope seemed lost'**_** it's so meladramaish. (- Is that a word???)**

**Anyhow, I had great fun writing this fic, thanks to the people who reviewed. I needed the encouragement. **

**Sorry again about the wait.**

**

* * *

**** Final Disasters**

Everything seemed to be going well. Until the YuGiOh gang found out that the engines of the airship were not working, and that Seto Kaiba- who was missing, was the only person who could fix the engines.

Naturally everyone was looking for Seto Kaiba- who was currently occupied in an elevator with Ishizu. (Mokuba was outside the elevator playing on his game boy.) The timer for the bomb which was going to destroy the duel tower was only showing ten minutes.

Many calls for the 'beloved' CEO rang out;

"KAIBA"

"MR KAIBA"

"KAIBA YOU BASTARD"

"KAIBA I'LL BANISH YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM UNLESS YOU APPEAR SOON"

While mentally Yugi yelled at his other half "YAMI YOU CAN'T BANISH PEOPLE IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE!"

However, despite the threats, said genius refused to appear, he was far too wrapped up in Ishizu, literally. Besides, he was many meters underground and to far away to hear any insults, not that he would have cared if he had heard them. As mentioned he was 'preoccupied'.

It was at this moment, **'when all hope seemed lost'** that the gang found the helicopter which had been brought for Joey. All at once they had a new way to escape from the island.

Everyone piled onto the helicopter. Screw Kaiba, genius millionaires were only useful as long as you didn't have to die with them.

It was when the island actually blew up beneath the helicopter that reality caught up with the group.

"Did you see that?" Serenity asked in complete shock.

"I know, the island's completely destroyed," Mai said quietly.

"Poor Mokuba and Seto," Tèa commented sadly.

"Ishizu was down there as well," Odion added.

Now, while the girls and Odion took matters fairly calmly, other people- males, on the plane were a bit more excited.

"Kaiba's dead," Joey was in tears, "and I never got to beat the bastard," he continued sobbing into Tristan's shoulder, "how could he just die like that!"

"He really wasn't such a bad person," Duke commented, sniffing, "he had a good flair for dramatics, he was good at making a profit and he had a cool trench coat,"

"You're right man, the trench coat was too cool," Tristan agreed, wiping a suspiciously teary eye.

Duke and Tristan were consoling Joey, while Bakura kept an eye on the King of Games, who also seemed to be finding Kaiba's apparent death quite hard to bear.

"What kind of an arrogant idiot pulls a stunt like that!" Yami was yelling.

"Now Yugi, it's not a good idea to speak ill of the dead," Bakura tried to pacify the ancient pharaoh.

"I don't care if it's a bad idea. HE'S STILL AN IDIOT!" yelled Yami, "just because I beat him he suddenly decides to blow up the island, and HIMSELF AS WELL!"

"Yugi, seriously calm down," Bakura said.

Mai and Tèa both took action. Tèa hugging her boy tightly, while Mai simply drew Joey's head onto her chest, both boys were silent for several moments before they started crying loudly.

It was kind of scary when Yami and Joey both sniffled at the same time, "I've lost my best rival, forever," their girls sensibly decided not to be jealous.

"Calm down boys," Mai said.

"Don't worry about it," Tèa added.

"How can you be so cold!" Duke accused.

"Easy, do you honestly think that Kaiba's a total idiot?" Tèa asked.

"I bet he has already escaped by now," Mai added confidently.

Meanwhile Marik was sitting in the corner of the helicopter using his cloak as a giant handkerchief, sobbing very loudly and blowing his nose every so often. Odion occasionally patted him on the back, but otherwise ignored the sobbing teen.

* * *

Kaiba was running for the blue eyes jet, Ishizu and Mokuba were already in there waiting for him. He'd taken longer to get dressed- trench coat issues. It might look good, but like most fashion it was hard to put on, and it was kind of awkward to work around when sitting down… and doing other things…

Kaiba made it into the jet, despite several minor tremors from all the bombs. He even managed to get himself comfortably seated with Ishizu.

Mokuba spoiled any plans of having a relaxing flight to Amercia though, "Seto, are we there yet?"

Seto took a deep breath. The flight was going to take eight hours at least, and he had a feeling that every second was going to crawl by. They still hadn't taken off

* * *

It was over five minutes after Mai's last comment before the blue eyes jet appeared.

All the men went goggle eyed and the women had that calm confident look that basically said 'I told you so,' It was a very irritating moment for the men, but relieving for most of the other passengers.

Joey of course raced for the microphone to yell at Kaiba, while Yami spent the next few minutes trying to prove to everyone else that he'd had faith in Kaiba all along.

"KAIBA YOU MOR-" Joey stopped abruptly mid-rant, "Ishizu, what are you doing on his lap?"

That got Marik's immediate attention.

"WHAT??" Marik's shriek echoed through the helicopter while he extricated himself from the cloak, and raced over to the cockpit, followed by Odion. The rest of the gang watched from the windows.

Ishizu was on Kaiba's lap, it was interesting to speculate why exactly her dress suddenly seemed to leave so much of her thighs bare. Then there was the other interesting question of why she was on Kaiba's lap, and not with Mokuba. That would have made steering a lot easier, and it would also have meant more leg room for her and Kaiba.

Marik was pretty sure he had the answers to those questions, and he didn't like them one bit.

"Ishizu, you get back here right now," Marik ranted.

"Master Marik," Odion politely interrupted, "it is impossible for Miss Ishizu to do anything of the sort, she no longer has the necklace, and you don't have the rod,"

Marik froze in the middle of opening his mouth, "good point," he finally said.

Everyone else sweatdropped wondering exactly how he'd managed to cause so much trouble, he didn't really seem that intelligent.

"That's not the point. Kaiba- I challenge you to a duel!" Marik suddenly shouted.

"And why would I bother accepting?" asked Kaiba quite calmly.

"It's over a matter of honor! I will not allow you to taint my sister you fiend!!!" yelled Marik.

Ishizu blinked, "uhh, Marik," she began. Her expression was similar to that of a parent about to give their child **'the talk'**.

"What do you mean 'taint'?" demanded an irritated Kaiba, "I'll have you know it was all her idea!"

"Riddiculous. Ishizu wouldn't do something like that! It's you, stuck on a computer twenty-four-seven; I'll bet a nerd like you has never had a girlfriend before in your life! Then when all that stored up tension finally hit breaking point you had the nerve to go lay a hand on my sister! Well I won't let this go any further!" yelled Marik.

"What in the name of God are you talking about? I am not a nerd, nor am I stuck on a computer twenty-four-seven," began Kaiba.

"That's right, big brother sleeps for six hours at night, so he's only on the computer for eighteen hours," added Mokuba.

Joey could be heard in the background going, "let's see, eighteen plus six is… oh yeah that's right it does make twenty-four,"

Everyone else sweatdropped and ignored him.

"Ha see you are a nerd!" yelled Marik beginning the argument once more.

"No I'm not!" Kaiba protested.

"Oh yes you are!" Marik argued.

"Oh No I'm NOT!" claimed Kaiba.

"YES You Are!" shouted Marik.

"Marik, Seto-" Ishizu could see what was coming even without her necklace and she tried to prevent it, but to no avail.

"NO I AM NOT!" thundered Kaiba.

"YES YOU ARE!" bellowed Marik.

"NO I AM NOT!" roared Kaiba.

"YES YOU ARE!" hollered Marik.

"Marik! Seto!" Ishizu's voice had acquired a warning note, but the two boys heeded it not.

"NO I AM NOT!" screamed Kaiba

"YES YOU ARE!" yelled Marik

"ENOUGH!!" shrieked Ishizu.

There was silence.

Ishizu looked at Kaiba and aquired a rather wicked smile, "Seto, let's leave, and get to America. You promised me a hotel room with a bed at least," she purred, leaning into him.

The effect on Kaiba was obvious, "See you punks later," he commented hitting the accelerator and disappearing.

"STOP! WAIT! COME BACK! I ORDER YOU!" shouted Marik.

Kaiba, Ishizu and Mokuba however were clearly long gone.

Marik turned on the pilots, "follow that dragon!" he proclaimed, his snot & tear covered cloak even swished out grandly in response to his words.

"We can't, we don't have permission to fly to America," the first said apologetically.

"We don't have enough fuel either," the second added.

Marik's cape visibly deflated.

"Cheer up master Marik," said Odion, "when we reach Domino we can use the boat to sail to America and we'll find Ishizu,"

"But it'll be too late by then. My poor, innocent sister will have been defiled by Kaiba," Marik sobbed, using his cloak as a handkerchief.

Everyone else exchanged incredulous looks, they were almost sure that Ishizu was not pure in that sense, and had probably not been **'pure'** for quite a long time.

* * *

Marik and Odion barely had time to say goodbye to the gang after they had all been dropped off at the docks. Marik raced off to find the boat dragging poor Odion after him. Kaiba was going to be in for a rough time in exactly six days, two wrong turns, and four hours of hitchhiking.

Meanwhile, Duke, Mai, Joey, Yami, Tèa, Bakura, Serenity and Tristan were all still standing at the docks.

It's hard to say a good farewell, if you leave too soon then there is a suspected lack of regard. On the other hand if you draw it out too much there is the issue with crying, and some people suspect you of playing a part because you truly don't care about them, but don't wish to seem that way.

Duke approached Serenity, "here, beautiful lady is my cell phone number. I hope that you will use it," he said handing her a piece of paper.

"DUKE!" shouted Tristan, leaping at his opponent.

The traditional fistfight began and a cloud of dust appeared, however there was a twist to this that no one saw coming, especially not her brother.

"Oh what a shame," Serenity moaned out loud, "I really did fancy a threesome, but if you two can't cooperate for even one minute, I guess it's no use," she put her head in her hands, before running off, "Bye!" she shouted back cheerfully.

Duke and Tristan had stopped fighting the minute she said the magic word 'threesome'. It has been scientifically proven that saying this word to a man is sure to get his undivided and immediate attention.

"Oi, Serenity!" yelled Tristan, running after her.

"Wait up," yelled Duke, running after them both.

Joey stood frozen for a few seconds, and then everything fell into place for him, "DUKE! TRISTAN! GET YOUR ASSES BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!! IF YOU EVEN DARE TOUCH MY SISTER I'LL KILL YOU!!!" he shouted.

The running trio paid him absolutely no attention; they were almost out of hearing range anyway.

"Kind of scary how similar Joey and Marik are when it concerns their sister," Tèa commented to Mai, and both girls giggled.

"Mai, this is no laughing matter," Joey scolded, and then he blinked, "Give me your keys," he said.

Mai was silent for a minute, "there is no way that am I letting you borrow my car," she said.

"Fine, you drive then," Joey commented.

"Okay," said Mai, walking off, "See you later," she murmured.

"You could be a bit nicer," Tèa hissed grabbing Joey's arm before he could follow Mai, "you guys are going steady after all, act like an adult in a relationship instead of an idiotic teenager,"

Joey shook her off sheepishly and ran off to Mai's car.

"Honestly, boys," Tèa murmured watching him run.

Yami wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her back against him, "what about them?" he teased, kissing her neck.

"Don't even get me started on the trouble," she murmured only half joking, leaning into him.

"So tell me, if Joey and Mai are going steady, are we?" Yami asked.

"I suppose we are," Tèa said, twisting around in his arms and kissing his lips firmly.

The kiss evolved, becoming very obviously open mouthed, and one kiss became many. It was when their hands started doing more than merely roaming that their friend attempted to gain their attention. To be honest they had kind of forgotten where they were. They also forgot that they had an audience. Sometimes shy people are easily forgotten, especially well mannered boys with a posh British accent.

"Uh," a very red faced Bakura coughed loudly, "so I guess I'll see you guys later," he commented walking quickly away.

He really needn't have bothered; neither member of the pair paid him or his words any attention, they simply continued.

* * *

"So Mai," said Joey as they got in the car, "I've been thinking,"

"God spare us that," she commented dryly.

"Are we a couple?" he asked.

Mai choked, that had not been what she was expecting at all- females usually felt the need to define a relationship, the men just went along with it, "well I don't know, are we?" she asked.

"Well, I umm… I like you," he said shyly.

Mai blinked, before adding, "I like you too,"

She was surprised when he kissed her, again and again, until they found themselves sliding into the backseat of her car.

"I thought we were going to get Serenity, and then kill Tristan and Duke," Mai murmured.

"It doesn't matter if they have a bit of a head-start," Joey chuckled.

Mai wrapped her arms around him more tightly, "maybe more than a bit,"

Neither member of this pair noticed poor Bakura walking out of the docks. He saw them though, and was almost brained by one of Mai's boots after Joey gave it a particularly wild tug.

He walked away from them, not even bothering to try and communicate. Love really did do strange things to people, come to think of it so did lust.

* * *

The next morning Joey realized something, he was supposed to meet Yugi at sunrise. That was what the scriptwriters had told him. The current time was eleven thirty one am. If he hurried he just might be able to meet Yugi before noon.

Joey hurried around the apartment trying to find his clothes; he managed to find everything, except one of his socks. He stuffed the shoe on anyway. He didn't have time to waste.

He did kiss the sleeping Mai goodbye though before racing out the door, still trying to attach his duel disk to his wrist.

Mai sleepily moaned at the slamming door, "the word man is an oxymoron, it implies that males grow up," before turning back over and burying her head under a pillow to get some sleep.

* * *

Yugi woke up in a panic. It was kind of awkward waking up naked next to an equally naked Tèa, especially considering that her relationship was actually with Yami, not with him.

He remembered a promise he'd made, and according to the script, he was close to breaking it. He was supposed to meet Joey at dawn for their duel. It seemed he was destined to run late this morning. The clock read eleven thirty two. Well perhaps Joey was running late as well…

Yami switched with him, to kiss Tèa goodbye, and also to ask her an important question.

"Do you prefer the black sleeveless top, or the black sleeveless top?"

Tèa blinked, he was holding up two perfectly identical tops, "uhh… the black sleeveless top?" she suggested/asked.

"Perfect," he said with a smile, kissing her.

He got dressed, and kissed her again, warning her to get dressed before descending for reasons concerning Grandpa Mutou's health. Not only to protect the old man's heart should the shock of an under dressed teenage girl prove too much, but to prevent Yami killing the old man should Solomon see any of Tèa's bare skin.

Tèa stayed sitting up for a whole minute after he left before collapsing back onto the bed.

"Mum was right, they're just like puppies," she muttered, "too bad they can't be trained," she groaned going back to sleep.

* * *

"What the hell happened to you!" Joey exclaimed.

"I could say the same about you!" Yami shot back.

"Look at the size of those hickies!" Joey commented.

"What about all those nail marks!" Yami asked, raising an eyebrow.

"And your hair, it's all… it's a mess," Joey couldn't find the word he was looking for.

"Your shirt is partially ripped," Yami observed.

"Tèa must be an animal," Joey said in surprise.

"Mai doesn't seem to show any more restraint," Yami said wryly.

Both friends abruptly remembered why they were here.

"TIME TO DUEL!!" they both shouted.

"I'll beat you this time Yug," Joey smirked.

"It'll never happen. I'm the King of Games, I can't be beaten, it says so in the script," Yami commented smugly.

"Well how am I supposed to get my Red Eyes Black Dragon back then?" Joey asked.

There was a brief pause, the sound of a wind was audible.

"Well obviously I still win, but I give you the card," Yami replied, obviously just as confused as Joey about this issue.

"That's stupid, why would you do that!" Joey protested.

"Okay, then fine. I'll keep the card!" Yami said.

"You can't do that!" Joey yelled.

"I'm the King of Games, I can do whatever I want," Yami yelled back.

"No you can't!" yelled Joey.

"Yes I can," yelled Yami.

And so, our story ends on this note, by the way, for the curious, things panned out exactly as Yami predicted. When they eventually got around to dueling (only two hours and forty six minutes after this little argument began) Yami completely defeated Joey, but still gave him back his Red Eyes Black Dragon card. Only after Joey swore never again to doubt the ability of the King of Games.

In addition he had to shout from the top of the tallest building in the area that he was an idiot and that Yami was the best duelist ever, as well as the smartest, greatest guy in the world. Joey really was a sucker for punishment.

It's like the old saying goes, if you don't have height; you often make up for it in other areas such as ego.

Eg. short pharaoh big ego.

**The End.**

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**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, please review.**

**Thanks!!**


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